Good Lord

Actual e-mail that Richard (our 80 something year old writer who makes more than everyone else in the office combined to turn in one completely incoherent department a month) just sent us:

Subject: SHAME

On th4e young editors for:

Not publishing what this grey head submitted for publishing in August;

Not being familiar with reader's survey and average age of readers;

Not having any grasp of the global geopolitics and the importance of Indonesia, third most populous nation on t4he planet, a Muslim nation that controls the busiest waterway on Earth

Not being aware of the importance of Lebanon in peace in the Middle East, where war has raged for over half century.

Not acknowledging the global reach and global humanitarian aide of the USN.

In 1956 I flew to Bruit to catch up with COMDESDIV 202 to make the first patrols in the Red Sea and Persian Gulf since WWII in the summer months on a WWII DD without air. Back again in 1957.

The strongest words my father ever used when I did something other than prudent was: you cannot put an old head on young shoulders. It might germane here.

The matter was settled at the last editorial meeting with TT and Amos.

Little did anyone know that TT was planning to leave the company.

There was no signature, but of course, there is only one crazy person this could be from. The very same one who has a 3/4 of a page section, but yet turned in 5 pages in 9 pt font this month, an entire article of which could not be used because it was simply a list of contracts (which we have an entirely separate section for), and whose writing style is so completely incoherent that I had to search to find the press releases that he had originally used in order to make his articles make any sense whatsoever. I have no memory of deleting Indonesia or Lebanon from anything last month, but seeing as his policy is simply to cut and paste sentences from press releases and then reorder them to make no sense, and he has no concept of length, I'm sure they were part of a list of 25 countries that the Navy had decided they needed to honor that day, and seeing as we have a magazine to publish, and this is not a lets-honor-Richard-Burns-and-his-achievements-section, I see no reason at all why the fact that he "flew to Bruit to catch up with COMDESDIV 202 to make the first patrols in the Red Sea and Persian Gulf since WWII in the summer months on a WWII DD without air" is relevant.

All I can say is please, please, please never put his old crazy head on my shoulders. Oh, and fire him, because he is worse than useless and taking up a salary that could at least buy us some god damn office chairs that aren't from 1975.