Transformers!

WASHINGTON, June 29, 2007 - Under the cover of darkness in the nation's capital last night, servicemembers from all branches deployed into theater -- the movie theater.

About 600 military personnel and family members attended a sneak preview of "Transformers," the summer science fiction action-adventure film set for national release July 3.

Audience members cheered as virtuous Autobot transformers fought in concert with their U.S. military allies against the depraved Decepticons, while the clash between good and evil played out in stunning images and bone-rattling sound.

"That was without a doubt the best movie I have ever seen," Army Staff Sgt. Mario Youngblood, dressed in his combat uniform, said as he emerged wide-eyed from the theater. The soldier, who grew up watching the early animated version, said the film did justice to the "Generation 1" Transformers of his youth.

"Obviously, the military has never fought giant robots, and hopefully we never will. But the way this film is structured, if we ever had to do it, this is probably how we would do it," said Army Lt. Col Paul Sinor

Titicaca!!!

Ummmmm......if you really want to know if prehistoric people could have made this boat, maybe you shouldn't mount the mast with a five-ton crane that's usually deploying drilling equipment or heavy-duty sediment vibracoring equipment....

Today, Aqua Survey is helping the German experimental arcaeologist Dominique Gorelitz and his crew prepare the Abora III to leave New York Harbor and sail to the Azores near the African coast and then on to Spain. The vessel was built entirely from reeds taken from Lake Titicaca in Bolivia by Aymara Indians in their traditional design.

Several weeks ago, Abora III and its crew arrived at Liberty Harbor Marina in Jersey City, NJ, the homeport for our 70-foot lift-boat, the R/V Robert E. Hayes. One of their first major tasks was to build and mount the mast for the Abora III. Using our five-ton crane aboard the R/V Hayes we were able to lend a hand. Our lift-boat's crane is usually put to work deploying drilling equipment or heavy-duty sediment vibracoring equipment.

So why the commotion? "There is growing evidence that before Columbus or the Vikings made their maiden voyages to the New World, people were regularly crossing the Atlantic to trade goods." How were Stone Age peoples able to make such transatlantic business trips and can a modern crew recreate this voyage using a boat constructed from a prehistoric design?

As my co-worker wisely put it: "People can't even make it from Cuba to Florida in boats like that..."

Woodland Wonders

THE WOODLAND WONDERS, by Vera M. Roberts; ISBN 1-4251-0255-7; $13.57 US / $15.60 CDN / £7.80 / €11.14; Perfect bound; 114 pages

Wildlife adventure: A pet rabbit time travels, is fostered, leaves home, marries, separates and gains parental access rights. His friend protects him from the Farmer. Ideal for New National Curriculum 2008.

What are they planning on teaching kids in 2008??

Click the link for the full ridiculousness of this book's plot.

March of the Giant Penguins

Fossils Reveal Early Penguins Reaching 5 Ft. Tall Lived Near the Equator During One of Earth’s Warmest Periods


What?? 5 feet tall? That's the size of most of Japan!

Hollywood's Hot New Diet!

So I'm in line at the grocery store, and I see the cover of one of America's most popular magazines....Us Weekly. At first, I gave it my normal blank stare followed by possible slight interest (you can't really see it, but that picture of Jessica Simpson looking all fat nine weeks ago is great). But then I realized the true beauty of this cover.

Either the editors at US have no sense of irony, or they have a great sense of humor. Cause as soon as you're done learning about the fact that Hollywood's Hot New Diet helped Jessica lose 20 lbs in TWO MONTHS! and that it's so easy, you can do it too! you can look over and see Kelly Clarkson's confession: "I was bulimic."

Hmm....I wonder what that hot new diet that I'm supposed to try could be.....

Hobbies include: Grazing

This was in my e-mail today. Apparently turning land into a national park will keep people from the fabulous recreational activities of rock collecting, grazing, and logging.

National Landscape Conservation System Land Grab Threatens The West

The NLCS Essentially Places A National Park Type Overlay Over Millions Of Acres Of BLM Land. Multiple-Use and private property will be eliminated or threatened.

The Babbitt National Landscape Conservation System (HR 2016) threatens:

-----Oil and Gas exploration;

-----Miners and mineral exploration;

-----Off-Highway Vehicle Use;

-----Convert Wilderness Study Areas into Wilderness;

-----All kinds of recreation like shooting, hunting and rock collecting;

-----Hunting for some is essential to their survival;

-----Sightseeing;

-----River rafting;

-----Grazing;

-----Forestry and logging;

-----Many more types of recreation.

Also, since when was "Sightseeing" prohibited in a national park?

The Baconater

Wendy's must have gotten together for a corporate mission meeting and decided, "National obesity epidemic? We have got our business plan!" They decided that the triple cheeseburger wasn't good enough...they could do better, and they have. The soon-to-come heart attack on a bun, or "The Baconater," provides not only your daily value of two patties with cheese, but six, count 'em, 6, strips of bacon. This is what the website has to say:

Baconator

Six strips of hickory smoked bacon piled high atop two 1/4 lb. patties of fresh, never frozen, beef. Complete with two slices of American cheese, mayo and ketchup for a mountain of mouth-watering taste. Go on, obsess a little.

There are NO vegetables on that, not even a piece of iceberg lettuce or a god damn pickle. Unless you count the ketchup I guess. But does it really need MAYO?? For real.

But that wasn't even the craziest thing I saw. For one, the Ultimate Chicken Grill meal had a little icon next to it that said, "Now tastier!" ...What the hell does that mean??

And on my cup, I read this phrase, next to a little sun icon: "Today's salads didn't exist yesterday" .....?

I think the only answer here is that people in the product development wing of Wendy's corporate are smoking a lot of weed.

I Love/Hate Press Releases

These were the titles of some press releases I just got, and they made me giggle because I am basically a 12 year old.

ABB Releases Asset Master

New Product from MEN Micro Inc.

Hella Marine Floodlights Turn Night Into Day

I may be childish, but at least I can turn unbelievably boring ocean technology press releases into thoughts of ass masters, small men, and So-Cal slang.

Who's Up for a Tomato Fight?

After about 45,000 of those "Deal Alert" emails you get if you make the mistake of buying plane tickets online, I got this gem today:

"Bunol, Spain flights | hotels | cars
Grab a tomato and join the world's largest food fight at the Tomatina Festival in Bunol, Spain. Signaling the end of the growing season, the week starts with parades, fireworks, shopping, and street parties leading up to the main event. On the final Wednesday in August, 90,000 pounds of tomatoes arrive by the truckloads for an eager crowd. After a day of feasting and endless pitchers of Sangria, some drunk will climb a pole to remove a ham which signals go time. Tomato packed rockets burst into the air for a new take on shock and awe. Soon, everyone in throwing distance is covered in soggy, red goo. After the war has died down, friends and foes reconcile and march down to the river to de-sauce and party well into the night. "

Who's coming with me?

No.....F'In......Way

petbutler.com


(They're "#1 in the '#2' business!")

Wine Bus

Apparently, Virginia has a "Wine Country," and I decided to tour it on a bus.

Luckily, this wasn't just any bus...it was a limo bus. Complete with "starry night" ceilings and neon lighting to give a soft glow to the black leather.

Unfortunately, all wine had to be consumed in plastic cups, at least until the broken glass incident from last year's wine bus is out of litigation. That made things considerably less classy, but considering the company I think we could handle it.

The first winery we went to set the tone of the day: "get plastered in the face of all obstacles." Cause the wine tasted like shit. Specifically, I thought it all tasted kind of like sweet pickles. That was a more kind characterization though, because some people thought it had sewer notes.

Then after this there was a slight setback--the bus broke down. This was brief though. Once we got a jump we were back on the road (we did have to pull over once when the bus door randomly opened on the highway, but that was taken care of soon enough).

At the next place, the wines were all pretty good, but we decided to have our picnic in their backyard. Big mistake. The lady came out and yelled at us that we could only drink her wine on the premises, otherwise it was "against the law." Now, I'm pretty sure that drinking on private property is never against the law, and even if it were, I'm fairly certain that it would not matter what brand of alcohol you were consuming. So there was some grumbling. And by grumbling I mean Suzanne kept saying things like, "let's bomb this place."

The rest of the day went pretty much the same. There was some food fighting, there was a red wine-spilled-on-someone's-white-shirt incident, and then we went back to Aimee's house and barbecued and played drunken Trivial Pursuit. And later my shoes got lost somewhere under the deck and I had to wear Ethan's back because it was his fault, so he walked barefoot all the way across Capitol Hill to Union Station.

Good times.