I have a coupon to Mcdonalds. I would like a filet o fish...
but the Mcdonalds is like three blocks away and down a big hill that i would then have to walk back up.
I can't decide which of my fatty tendencies are going to win out in this situation.
Friday, September 04, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Hmm 2 inch fish, definitely worth more than Sean Hannity
Outraged California Farmers Demand Obama Administration’s Help
“All you got to do is turn the pumps on”
Sean Hannity, FOX News
8/11/09
Hannity: Update on a story we covered back in May. The Central Valley of California was once considered the bread basket of America. But now farms all over that region have been allowed to dry up. Now why? Because of a 2-inch minnow on the endangered species list. Now, environmentalists claim that the fish was getting caught in the water pumps that provided the farms with water. So to protect the tiny fish, the pumps turned off. Farmers were left high and dry and entire communities are now feeling the impact. Some towns in the area are facing unemployment rates up to 40 percent. Many residents are now forced to visit food banks. The people of that great area have had enough and they are speaking out tonight. Joining me live from California is Congressman Devin Nunes and comedian and activist Paul Rodriguez. I don’t know if we can get a shot, it looks like you have over a thousand people there is that right?
Rodriguez: Well over a thousand people. This is a testament of your message is getting to these people. They have been out here for hours. The only water this field has seen is our sweat. It's more than we have gotten from the government.
Hannity: Paul, we have had you on about this before. I want you to tell the entire story. It's almost unfathomable.
Rodriguez: People don't believe it.
Hannity: Tell everybody.
Rodriguez: The problem is the environmental laws are not flexible at all. The very judge that pushed this order to cut off the water said that there was no swivel room to make accommodations for human beings. This fish takes priority. All the water is being held back. We are left right with nothing. Right here where we are at, this used to be an almond orchard. We grew some of the sweetest almonds ever, now it's firewood. Do you want some? Nobody believes it. That’s how I got involved, my mother is from here.
Hannity: Farms are dried up. No water, no production. People are losing their jobs. How many people are out of work there?
Rodriguez: Well, you know, the system varies but a lot of people here aren't working. That's why we are here. We are here to show America, this is our own town hall meeting here, Sean. We are so wrap up in this issue we don't have time to worry about health care. Everything around us is dead. Our way of life is dying here. We tried to have the Administration come to see about us. We haven't heard. They send the Secretary of the Interior here. He gave us some nice lip service and said oh we are going to do this and do that. The end we didn't get no water. Our fields are drying out. Something has to be done.
Hannity: First, Paul, you were an Obama supporter?
Rodriguez: Yes, absolutely. Like everybody else, we wanted change. We didn't think it would be this kind of change. But you know, he kept his promise, we got change.
Hannity: Where are you now? I heard you want to call Fresno County an Obama country?
Rodriguez: We want to name -- we would like to name it after someone who is responsible for this. Look, we have sent a letter signed by every mayor in this whole area to President Obama telling them that we’ve tried to go through the chain of command. We saw the Secretary of Interior, we saw his assistant. We went to Sacramento; we went over there to Washington D.C. We went everywhere. Everybody is paying us lip service. At the end of the day our trees can't wait. Our trees are going to wait for a law that may be passing. Two gates, no gates, at the end of the gait gate, nobody is bringing us water.
Hannity: Congressman, how is this possible?
Nunes: It's unbelievable, Sean. We tried on the House floor this summer, about five or six different times and we only got handful of Democrat votes each time. We’ve tried to pass something. Nancy Pelosi is the Speaker of the House, she is from California. We have over 10% unemployment in California. We are sitting with trees that are only 8 years old right now that are now sitting here dead, dried out. There’s a half a million acres of farmland. It's bigger than the size of Rhode Island that's now dry because of these fools.
Rodriguez: The loser here is the American people. Because live in the most fertile valley in this planet. Everything you put on the ground here grows. You are going to eventually by next spring you are going to get your vegetables from china. I understand they make great baby milk formula.
Nunes: Sean, let me add something on this. This is, you know, in China and India, and Brazil, they're building water infrastructure projects . In California, not only are we not building projects here, we are taking the projects we have and they are shut off and they are starving this valley of water.
Rodriguez: We would like to have the same consideration that they have for the plants they're building in Iraq. For crying out loud they are getting water projects. Here in this valley, look we have no other recourse. We want to thank you a lot, Sean. Nobody else has pointed their eye on this problem. To us there is a lot -- we understand that the President has serious problems with health care and all these things. To us this is our livelihood.
Nunes: All you got to do is turn the pumps on. [cheers]
Hannity: I don't know if anybody can hear me out there, you guys. I want to say this to the crowd. The people in this area need jobs. They need their farms. They need the water for their farms. And the federal government, where is Barack Obama, where is Nancy Pelosi, where is Harry Reid? Turn the water on and let the people of Central California eat. I can't believe I’m eating debating this, Paul.
Rodriguez: It's ridiculous. I have not lost faith yet. Maybe I’m a knuckle head. We have sent the letter. We're still hoping that Mr. Obama will see it in his busy schedule to come down here and visit us. We believe that – seeing is believing. If he sees the faces on these people. We are not just white or brown. We are everybody here. This is a microcosm of America here. We are farmers. We bring food to your table.
Hannity: Are you going to run for office?
Rodriguez: Who me? The only thing I’m going to run is from the cops. No, this area needs someone with an education. I'm not smart enough to be that. I just want water to my mom's farm and I’m back to telling jokes.
Nunes: I'm working on him. I'm trying to get him to run.
Rodriguez: You should run, Sean. You are the man.
Hannity: Listen. I mean this sincerely. I think this is really important. I hope the President is watching or somebody will bring this to his attention and somebody has got to turn the water back on. We have got to save these farmers. We have got to save these farms. We have got to do it for the people out there.
Rodriguez: Either that or put us on the endangered species list. [cheers]
“All you got to do is turn the pumps on”
Sean Hannity, FOX News
8/11/09
Hannity: Update on a story we covered back in May. The Central Valley of California was once considered the bread basket of America. But now farms all over that region have been allowed to dry up. Now why? Because of a 2-inch minnow on the endangered species list. Now, environmentalists claim that the fish was getting caught in the water pumps that provided the farms with water. So to protect the tiny fish, the pumps turned off. Farmers were left high and dry and entire communities are now feeling the impact. Some towns in the area are facing unemployment rates up to 40 percent. Many residents are now forced to visit food banks. The people of that great area have had enough and they are speaking out tonight. Joining me live from California is Congressman Devin Nunes and comedian and activist Paul Rodriguez. I don’t know if we can get a shot, it looks like you have over a thousand people there is that right?
Rodriguez: Well over a thousand people. This is a testament of your message is getting to these people. They have been out here for hours. The only water this field has seen is our sweat. It's more than we have gotten from the government.
Hannity: Paul, we have had you on about this before. I want you to tell the entire story. It's almost unfathomable.
Rodriguez: People don't believe it.
Hannity: Tell everybody.
Rodriguez: The problem is the environmental laws are not flexible at all. The very judge that pushed this order to cut off the water said that there was no swivel room to make accommodations for human beings. This fish takes priority. All the water is being held back. We are left right with nothing. Right here where we are at, this used to be an almond orchard. We grew some of the sweetest almonds ever, now it's firewood. Do you want some? Nobody believes it. That’s how I got involved, my mother is from here.
Hannity: Farms are dried up. No water, no production. People are losing their jobs. How many people are out of work there?
Rodriguez: Well, you know, the system varies but a lot of people here aren't working. That's why we are here. We are here to show America, this is our own town hall meeting here, Sean. We are so wrap up in this issue we don't have time to worry about health care. Everything around us is dead. Our way of life is dying here. We tried to have the Administration come to see about us. We haven't heard. They send the Secretary of the Interior here. He gave us some nice lip service and said oh we are going to do this and do that. The end we didn't get no water. Our fields are drying out. Something has to be done.
Hannity: First, Paul, you were an Obama supporter?
Rodriguez: Yes, absolutely. Like everybody else, we wanted change. We didn't think it would be this kind of change. But you know, he kept his promise, we got change.
Hannity: Where are you now? I heard you want to call Fresno County an Obama country?
Rodriguez: We want to name -- we would like to name it after someone who is responsible for this. Look, we have sent a letter signed by every mayor in this whole area to President Obama telling them that we’ve tried to go through the chain of command. We saw the Secretary of Interior, we saw his assistant. We went to Sacramento; we went over there to Washington D.C. We went everywhere. Everybody is paying us lip service. At the end of the day our trees can't wait. Our trees are going to wait for a law that may be passing. Two gates, no gates, at the end of the gait gate, nobody is bringing us water.
Hannity: Congressman, how is this possible?
Nunes: It's unbelievable, Sean. We tried on the House floor this summer, about five or six different times and we only got handful of Democrat votes each time. We’ve tried to pass something. Nancy Pelosi is the Speaker of the House, she is from California. We have over 10% unemployment in California. We are sitting with trees that are only 8 years old right now that are now sitting here dead, dried out. There’s a half a million acres of farmland. It's bigger than the size of Rhode Island that's now dry because of these fools.
Rodriguez: The loser here is the American people. Because live in the most fertile valley in this planet. Everything you put on the ground here grows. You are going to eventually by next spring you are going to get your vegetables from china. I understand they make great baby milk formula.
Nunes: Sean, let me add something on this. This is, you know, in China and India, and Brazil, they're building water infrastructure projects . In California, not only are we not building projects here, we are taking the projects we have and they are shut off and they are starving this valley of water.
Rodriguez: We would like to have the same consideration that they have for the plants they're building in Iraq. For crying out loud they are getting water projects. Here in this valley, look we have no other recourse. We want to thank you a lot, Sean. Nobody else has pointed their eye on this problem. To us there is a lot -- we understand that the President has serious problems with health care and all these things. To us this is our livelihood.
Nunes: All you got to do is turn the pumps on. [cheers]
Hannity: I don't know if anybody can hear me out there, you guys. I want to say this to the crowd. The people in this area need jobs. They need their farms. They need the water for their farms. And the federal government, where is Barack Obama, where is Nancy Pelosi, where is Harry Reid? Turn the water on and let the people of Central California eat. I can't believe I’m eating debating this, Paul.
Rodriguez: It's ridiculous. I have not lost faith yet. Maybe I’m a knuckle head. We have sent the letter. We're still hoping that Mr. Obama will see it in his busy schedule to come down here and visit us. We believe that – seeing is believing. If he sees the faces on these people. We are not just white or brown. We are everybody here. This is a microcosm of America here. We are farmers. We bring food to your table.
Hannity: Are you going to run for office?
Rodriguez: Who me? The only thing I’m going to run is from the cops. No, this area needs someone with an education. I'm not smart enough to be that. I just want water to my mom's farm and I’m back to telling jokes.
Nunes: I'm working on him. I'm trying to get him to run.
Rodriguez: You should run, Sean. You are the man.
Hannity: Listen. I mean this sincerely. I think this is really important. I hope the President is watching or somebody will bring this to his attention and somebody has got to turn the water back on. We have got to save these farmers. We have got to save these farms. We have got to do it for the people out there.
Rodriguez: Either that or put us on the endangered species list. [cheers]
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Safe Driving
I got a new copy of my car insurance policy today, and it says "There are no male or unmarried female drivers under age 25 assigned to this car."
Ok, so I'm aware of the car insurance industry's unfair policy toward young men (despite being backed up by statistics, still unfair). But what's with this "unmarried" thing? Have I been being charged more all this time for not having a ring on my finger? And that would make me a safer driver how, exactly?
Ok, so I'm aware of the car insurance industry's unfair policy toward young men (despite being backed up by statistics, still unfair). But what's with this "unmarried" thing? Have I been being charged more all this time for not having a ring on my finger? And that would make me a safer driver how, exactly?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Snuggie Rip Off?
Is this a total Snuggie rip off?
But it doesn't seem possible that it could have the same exact slogan, same price, and same weirdo "free gift."
I am deeply suspicious...
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
No-No
The Thinking C.A.P.P. Foundation had this "note to press": "We encourage you to use our internationally recognized safety symbol of Mr. No-No"
First of all, I don't really believe that this colored pencil drawing scanned into Microsoft Word is actually an "internationally recognized symbol." Second, it is frightening me.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Hollywood, we need to talk
Is it just me, or does this Fired Up movie seem pretty sexist? From what I can tell, two high school jocks decide to become cheerleaders just to get laid, find the girls unbearably annoying, and then they bring the shitty team to greatness, even though they were just there to pick up chicks and don't know anything about cheerleading.
You're on thin ice already Hollywood for making nothing but remakes and sequels and exhuming my childhood (G.I. Joe, Transformers 2 AND Streetfighter???). At least when other cheerleading movie trailers have made me want to barf it wasn't because I felt like they were maligning my sex.
You're on thin ice already Hollywood for making nothing but remakes and sequels and exhuming my childhood (G.I. Joe, Transformers 2 AND Streetfighter???). At least when other cheerleading movie trailers have made me want to barf it wasn't because I felt like they were maligning my sex.
Friday, February 13, 2009
I make ad good
This ad was on my facebook page and it's so wonderfully bad. Look at the horribly photoshopped hands holding the check and then the "Google $$$" that looks like a two year old made it on his Fisher Price laptop.
Son of Light, Light of God
Apparently the media have actually been interested in this guy. And it's even better than I thought.
FRIDAY THE MOTHERF**ING 13TH OMGGGG
The crazytowns over at SatanisBarack.com have struck my inbox yet again.
"PRESS RELEASE
News Article from 247 News Net
www.247news.net
Click the Google Link in this article and see the TIME STAMP article from GOOGLE proving Sollog gave the exact date of Flight's 3047 Crash in his famous Xmas 2007 Prophecies about a future plane crash. We're sure many of you in the media would love to interview Sollog. So that's why you have the email address above. He's doing interviews for a short time. HE HATES THE PRESS!"
I'm so eager to interview a mental patient that hates me.
"WE ARE CALLING IT THE FRIDAY THE 13th PLANE CRASH, since the NEWS STORY broke on FRIDAY the 13th, even though the crash site had a little of an hour left before it was FRIDAY THE 13th. IN MOST OF THE WORLD IT WAS ALREADY FRIDAY THE 13th. So don't email me, it wasn't FRIDAY THE 13th. It WAS when the story broke and around most of the world it was! "
I'm beginning to get a sneaking suspicion whoever wrote this release was a 12 year old...
"HERE'S PROOF, Google TIME STAMPED the Prophecy since it was put into Usenet 16 months ago. See for yourself, when the DOW was at the top, Sollog said CRASH, it did. The historic rise in Oil happened 9 months later and Barack sure took THE THRONE of POWER. Hillary was the favorite then. Here's the TIME STAMPED GOOGLE PAGE
Oh, SOLLOG PUT THE EXACT DATE OF THE CRASH in the verse on THE CRASH 122 appears in the verse, 12/2 or 12th day of February, so, SOLLOG KNEW THE DATE.
Here is the VERSE, EXACTLY as he wrote it, capitals tell the story and look at the numbers 1 2 2 appears IN REVERSE.
III
Another rash of PLANE CRASHES
2 Planes collide in the AIR
2 Planes collide on the GROUND
1 Plane explodes in the Air
LOOK ABOVE, see 122, now look at this TIME STAMPED GOOGLE PROPHECY from 16 months ago, BANG, IT'S REAL! Sollog KNOWS EXACT DATES, do you want to talk to him world media? I just did! HA HA HA. Beat you to it. HERE'S PROOF I'm not joking. SOLLOG HIT THE EXACT DATE! The LEGEND OF SOLLOG JUST GOT BIGGER! "
Ok, so do I have this straight? He wrote the date in European style, day first then month. But he did this in reverse... so it's not Jan. 22 or Feb. 21...Also, it's actually 2/13, as we saw above, AND DON'T EMAIL THAT IT WASN'T BECAUSE IT TOTALLY WAS. Also, the plane crashed into the ground, not into another plane in the air, or on the ground, or by itself in the air. But ignore that, it's not important.
And then I realized it was my same boys from my favorite crazy anti-Obama website when he finished off with this:
"Sollog is the person who almost a year ago released the LUKE 10:18 verses about Jesus claiming LIGHTNING IS SATAN.
Sollog a Hebrew Rabbi pointed out almost a year ago that LIGHTNING in Hebrew is BARACK or Betch Resh Qoph.
Blessed in Hebrew is Beth Resh Kaph BARAK. So, Barack is LIGHTNING or SATAN if you believe in the New Testament...
Check out SATAN IS BARACK the music is by REX LUCIFERIUS (HA HA HA)"
If this makes any sense to you, I strongly suggest you visit a psychiatrist immediately.
"PRESS RELEASE
News Article from 247 News Net
www.247news.net
Click the Google Link in this article and see the TIME STAMP article from GOOGLE proving Sollog gave the exact date of Flight's 3047 Crash in his famous Xmas 2007 Prophecies about a future plane crash. We're sure many of you in the media would love to interview Sollog. So that's why you have the email address above. He's doing interviews for a short time. HE HATES THE PRESS!"
I'm so eager to interview a mental patient that hates me.
"WE ARE CALLING IT THE FRIDAY THE 13th PLANE CRASH, since the NEWS STORY broke on FRIDAY the 13th, even though the crash site had a little of an hour left before it was FRIDAY THE 13th. IN MOST OF THE WORLD IT WAS ALREADY FRIDAY THE 13th. So don't email me, it wasn't FRIDAY THE 13th. It WAS when the story broke and around most of the world it was! "
I'm beginning to get a sneaking suspicion whoever wrote this release was a 12 year old...
"HERE'S PROOF, Google TIME STAMPED the Prophecy since it was put into Usenet 16 months ago. See for yourself, when the DOW was at the top, Sollog said CRASH, it did. The historic rise in Oil happened 9 months later and Barack sure took THE THRONE of POWER. Hillary was the favorite then. Here's the TIME STAMPED GOOGLE PAGE
Oh, SOLLOG PUT THE EXACT DATE OF THE CRASH in the verse on THE CRASH 122 appears in the verse, 12/2 or 12th day of February, so, SOLLOG KNEW THE DATE.
Here is the VERSE, EXACTLY as he wrote it, capitals tell the story and look at the numbers 1 2 2 appears IN REVERSE.
III
Another rash of PLANE CRASHES
2 Planes collide in the AIR
2 Planes collide on the GROUND
1 Plane explodes in the Air
LOOK ABOVE, see 122, now look at this TIME STAMPED GOOGLE PROPHECY from 16 months ago, BANG, IT'S REAL! Sollog KNOWS EXACT DATES, do you want to talk to him world media? I just did! HA HA HA. Beat you to it. HERE'S PROOF I'm not joking. SOLLOG HIT THE EXACT DATE! The LEGEND OF SOLLOG JUST GOT BIGGER! "
Ok, so do I have this straight? He wrote the date in European style, day first then month. But he did this in reverse... so it's not Jan. 22 or Feb. 21...Also, it's actually 2/13, as we saw above, AND DON'T EMAIL THAT IT WASN'T BECAUSE IT TOTALLY WAS. Also, the plane crashed into the ground, not into another plane in the air, or on the ground, or by itself in the air. But ignore that, it's not important.
And then I realized it was my same boys from my favorite crazy anti-Obama website when he finished off with this:
"Sollog is the person who almost a year ago released the LUKE 10:18 verses about Jesus claiming LIGHTNING IS SATAN.
Sollog a Hebrew Rabbi pointed out almost a year ago that LIGHTNING in Hebrew is BARACK or Betch Resh Qoph.
Blessed in Hebrew is Beth Resh Kaph BARAK. So, Barack is LIGHTNING or SATAN if you believe in the New Testament...
Check out SATAN IS BARACK the music is by REX LUCIFERIUS (HA HA HA)"
If this makes any sense to you, I strongly suggest you visit a psychiatrist immediately.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
S. 22
There's a bill in Congress right now that would expand national parks. Sounds good, right? Not according to Gunowners of America. Apparently, you're not allowed to carry a concealed weapon in a national park, therefore, national parks hate freedom.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Daily Show wisdom
Guy on the daily show: "news shouldn't be ad supported, because then you're not beholden to the readers, you're working for the advertisers."
EXACTLY my magazine's problem. So apparently the solution is charging people for it.
EXACTLY my magazine's problem. So apparently the solution is charging people for it.
Irony
While I'm sure this show is a bunch of bullshit, it's kind of funny that the media is considering silencing a documentary about how the media silences these people. Oops!
"TV station delays decision to air program produced by American Family Association because it is controversial
Tupelo, MS – Television station WSYX in Columbus, Ohio, has delayed a decision on airing a television program produced by American Family Association (AFA). The program, “Speechless …Silencing the Christians,” was scheduled to air Saturday night on the ABC affiliate station.
“We were surprised that WSYX agreed to air the program, and then decided to revisit its decision,” said AFA chairman Donald E. Wildmon.
He said “Speechless … Silencing the Christians” is a program about how the mainline media silences Christians by not allowing their voice to be heard."
"TV station delays decision to air program produced by American Family Association because it is controversial
Tupelo, MS – Television station WSYX in Columbus, Ohio, has delayed a decision on airing a television program produced by American Family Association (AFA). The program, “Speechless …Silencing the Christians,” was scheduled to air Saturday night on the ABC affiliate station.
“We were surprised that WSYX agreed to air the program, and then decided to revisit its decision,” said AFA chairman Donald E. Wildmon.
He said “Speechless … Silencing the Christians” is a program about how the mainline media silences Christians by not allowing their voice to be heard."
Boca Knights
We have a books column in our magazine, and for some reason we only get releases from authors who like to write about everyman characters who become superheroes and fight ruthless billionaires.
The latest installment in this saga of book press releases, Boca Knights:
A superhero at large in Boca Raton – retirement proves way too tame for this fearless ex-cop
Boca Raton, FL, February 5, 2008 - Eddie Perlmutter comes from a long line of fighters – his grandfather survived life under siege from Cossacks in Russia, before he moved to Boston. To survive life in this tough city, this little Jewish kid proved himself to be quite the amateur boxer. He became a cop – the one and only thing he ever wanted to be – and managed to survive a tough career in one piece. When it comes time to retire, the widowed Eddie decides to move to Boca Raton, Florida since his well worn body had had enough of th e New England winters. Trouble seems to find Eddie after he discovers there is a very dark side of life lurking under the tranquility of this scenic paradise. Country-club politics and early-bird specials are not enough for this tough ex-cop who gets back in the game by singlehandedly busting up a ring of Russian counterfeiters, winning the gratitude and respect of the local police chief. Realizing how this fearless maverick and his aversion to injustice could be a benefit, the chief drops a subliminal hint to Eddie that he should get his private investigator’s license. Unfortunately, the one thing Eddie didn’t count on was becoming the local hero, the Knight of Boca Raton.
Move over Dirty Harry, there is a new superhero in town, complete with arthritic knees, only this cop isn’t in New York or Chicago – he’s in Boca Raton – not exactly your normal hotbed of crime!
The latest installment in this saga of book press releases, Boca Knights:
A superhero at large in Boca Raton – retirement proves way too tame for this fearless ex-cop
Boca Raton, FL, February 5, 2008 - Eddie Perlmutter comes from a long line of fighters – his grandfather survived life under siege from Cossacks in Russia, before he moved to Boston. To survive life in this tough city, this little Jewish kid proved himself to be quite the amateur boxer. He became a cop – the one and only thing he ever wanted to be – and managed to survive a tough career in one piece. When it comes time to retire, the widowed Eddie decides to move to Boca Raton, Florida since his well worn body had had enough of th e New England winters. Trouble seems to find Eddie after he discovers there is a very dark side of life lurking under the tranquility of this scenic paradise. Country-club politics and early-bird specials are not enough for this tough ex-cop who gets back in the game by singlehandedly busting up a ring of Russian counterfeiters, winning the gratitude and respect of the local police chief. Realizing how this fearless maverick and his aversion to injustice could be a benefit, the chief drops a subliminal hint to Eddie that he should get his private investigator’s license. Unfortunately, the one thing Eddie didn’t count on was becoming the local hero, the Knight of Boca Raton.
Move over Dirty Harry, there is a new superhero in town, complete with arthritic knees, only this cop isn’t in New York or Chicago – he’s in Boca Raton – not exactly your normal hotbed of crime!
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
SatanisBarack.com
Actual email subject: PRESS RELEASE - Satan Is Barack .com launches with Music Video by Rex Luciferius
Awesome. Now if I could only figure out what on Earth this press release is saying...
"Ninth Level .com (www.NinthLevel.com) has just launched www.SatanIsBarack.com with a new music video by Ninth Level artist Rex Luciferius (www.RexLuciferius.com)
The video features the Luke 10:18 verse where Jesus named SATAN as Lightning. Barack or Beth Resh Qoph is BARACK in Hebrew."
What? MAKE SENSE!
Also, don't you Christian types really want the world to end? In which case, shouldn't Sarah Palin have done all she could to make Barack win?
...Wait a second, it all makes sense now.
Awesome. Now if I could only figure out what on Earth this press release is saying...
"Ninth Level .com (www.NinthLevel.com) has just launched www.SatanIsBarack.com with a new music video by Ninth Level artist Rex Luciferius (www.RexLuciferius.com)
The video features the Luke 10:18 verse where Jesus named SATAN as Lightning. Barack or Beth Resh Qoph is BARACK in Hebrew."
What? MAKE SENSE!
Also, don't you Christian types really want the world to end? In which case, shouldn't Sarah Palin have done all she could to make Barack win?
...Wait a second, it all makes sense now.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
So that's why his back taxes don't quite add up
I can't help but feel like we're not getting the whole story here...
Five Best Places to Meet Guys
We got this little gem of a press release today about the five best places to meet guys.
What I learned:
The best place for hot guys is apparently Chipotle. I guess this makes sense. Guys do like burritos.
The best place to find a date? Whole Foods. This must be a Social Safeway kind of thing. Personally, I don't really scope for guys when I shop for groceries, but I think if I did I wouldn't have much luck, considering my Whole Foods is in the Dupont/Logan area and I think most of those guys are already taken. By guys.
Best place to meet a sexy, fit guy...triathalons. While I can't disagree with the logic there, I do have a little problem with the fact that it requires you to do triathalons...
As if there weren't enough weird on this list, the best place to be a single woman is supposedly Alaska. Ostensibly, this is because according to the census, "Alaska has 114 men for every 100 single women." First off, they're not specifying that those 100 men are single, so that could be a problem. Second, it's Alaska, so aren't most of them off at sea catching snow crab or driving on an ice road? This is what the Discovery channel has led me to believe at least.
And finally.... hit the playground on a Saturday. The reasoning being that single dads will be there with their kids. But you know what other kind of single man might be there?
I really hope these are not actually the five best options.
What I learned:
The best place for hot guys is apparently Chipotle. I guess this makes sense. Guys do like burritos.
The best place to find a date? Whole Foods. This must be a Social Safeway kind of thing. Personally, I don't really scope for guys when I shop for groceries, but I think if I did I wouldn't have much luck, considering my Whole Foods is in the Dupont/Logan area and I think most of those guys are already taken. By guys.
Best place to meet a sexy, fit guy...triathalons. While I can't disagree with the logic there, I do have a little problem with the fact that it requires you to do triathalons...
As if there weren't enough weird on this list, the best place to be a single woman is supposedly Alaska. Ostensibly, this is because according to the census, "Alaska has 114 men for every 100 single women." First off, they're not specifying that those 100 men are single, so that could be a problem. Second, it's Alaska, so aren't most of them off at sea catching snow crab or driving on an ice road? This is what the Discovery channel has led me to believe at least.
And finally.... hit the playground on a Saturday. The reasoning being that single dads will be there with their kids. But you know what other kind of single man might be there?
I really hope these are not actually the five best options.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Minutemen: Learn English
For an organization that's so worried about the corruption of the English language by immigrants, they sure don't know how to use the apostrophe.
"Thank you Minutemen. You Make the Difference!
Millions of Phone Calls
Hundreds of Thousands of Faxes
Tens of Thousands of FEDX Letters
Rally's and Demonstrations
Petitions
Making the Government Do It's Job
The Fight Against Illegal Alien's is Not Over"
"Thank you Minutemen. You Make the Difference!
Millions of Phone Calls
Hundreds of Thousands of Faxes
Tens of Thousands of FEDX Letters
Rally's and Demonstrations
Petitions
Making the Government Do It's Job
The Fight Against Illegal Alien's is Not Over"
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Bananas and Old Bay
Gchat status: What can I cook with my pound of old bay?
Amos
7:40
bananas!
Lauren
7:41
bananas and old bay?
Amos
7:43
wait, maybe i was thinking of parrot bay
7:43
what is old bay?
Amos
7:40
bananas!
Lauren
7:41
bananas and old bay?
Amos
7:43
wait, maybe i was thinking of parrot bay
7:43
what is old bay?
Chipotle solves world hunger
Rebecca:
the first time i looked up a chipotle burrito's calorie count
man what a shocker
like, we should send chipotle burritos to africa
it's like a brick of energy for your whole day
the first time i looked up a chipotle burrito's calorie count
man what a shocker
like, we should send chipotle burritos to africa
it's like a brick of energy for your whole day
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