This swing holds so many freshman year memories...

The Final List

It seems like all we ever say now is, "we really need to do that before we graduate." And yet, it also seems like every weekend we're like, what should we do? and then end up at DA's. So I decided to make the unofficial final list of things to do before we graduate. Anything you want to add, let me know, and then we can get on doing them. With the possible exception of weddings, we'll probably never have this many of our friends together all at once again, so we need to make the best of it.

Places to go:
The indoor waterpark at Great Escape
Montreal
A haunted house
The Petrified Creatures Museum
A Renaissance Faire/Medieval Times

Restaurants to Try
(both those that sound good and those that would be funny):
The Golden Corral
The Weathervane
Chianti's
Have tea at Mrs. London's
Pepper's Deli
The Bread Basket
Breakfast at Compton's at 3:00 am
And of course, do the Denny's Challenge

Things to do:
Bowl for $5 on a Tuesday
Karaoke at the Gaslight Lounge
Dance at the Newbury
An Underwear Party (live a little and turn the thermostat way up for a night)
A Toga party
A major pub crawl
A backyard barbecue
A Wet T-shirt contest
A giant game of hide and seek/capture the flag/truth or dare/flashlight tag
A big Mortal Kombat tournament (or equally violent old-school fighting game)
Watch the sunrise on the roof of the Tang
Camp in the North Woods
Go skinny dipping somewhere (my house is ideal for this) and/or
Rent out an indoor pool
Go to a Rodeo
Go mini-golfing in Lake George
Girl Boxing at the Holiday Inn

SO....what are we doing next weekend?

Punks 4 Life

I don't know if you watched the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductions. I watched some of it because I have a severe lack of a life right now. Most of what I saw was pretty typical awards show, pretty much exactly what would be expected...a like 25 minute rendition of Freebird by the surviving members of Lynard Skynard plus Kid Rock...shots of Ozzy in the audience looking lost and confused. But then, something awesome and, in my opinion, historic. Some guy I didn't recognize got up to the podium. They flashed...very quickly...a messily handwritten letter. And then the man began to read it, with the expletives censored and with shots of individual (misspelled) words coming up every now and then. It was from the Sex Pistols, and it was basically like: we're not coming you bunch of bloody wankers. And I was so proud. What a sad day it would have been if the writers of "Anarchy in the UK" had stood up in front of a bunch of douches in suits and accepted a shiny award with a nice little speech thanking their mums. No F'in way. They're punks to the end and they are awesome.

He figured there was only one job for his name

Bad Decision Headquarters

The National Archives. We saw the Constitution....and shit

The greatest phallic symbol of our nation

I have no clue what "Kiss and Ride" actually means....but I think it's hilarious

The gate to Chinatown

A blossoming cherry tree...is it as great as they all say?

Beautiful Union Station and the beautiful Capital

Birthday bars :)

When You're Watchin Brokeback Mountain...

So there's this place in town called "Reel Meals" (doesn't that play on words just entice you). It's like a movie theater and a restaurant's ignominious love child. We decided to go see Brokeback Mountain...because that just sounds like the most appetizing movie ever. And it was an adventure.
Alright....so...spoiler alert...this movie has some butt sex. See, now that I told you that you probably think that you're gonna be all ready for it when it comes. Mmmm...see the thing is, the butt sex kind of....attacks you. One minute they're just two cowboys on some mountain, eating baked beans. And then the jeans are being ripped off and there's grunting and it's just...awkward. Christine helped ease the uncomfortable moment by sensuously rubbing my leg with her foot the whole time.
But then came the moment I will never forget.
Just as Heath Ledger is coming to orgasm, the waitress pops out of nowhere with a plate in her hand, announcing: Chicken Wings?
GOLD

Charlie killed the hour and a half before Bob Saget actually started doing what Charlie does best. The Rubix Cube in under 2 minutes.

There he is. Star of America's Funniest Home Videos in the flesh

Rachel's workin it 80s style

Episode 9: Christine Needs a Band-Aid

The following is an excerpt from my ridiculous house:

Christine: i need a bandaid

Lauren: mmm i would go to kenny. i dont deal in bandaids, but i think he does
what'd you do

Christine: getone
for me

Lauren: ha um, excuse me? lets hear some magic word here

Christine: im bleeding!
thats the magic word!

Lauren: its actually not
unless you got shot, i think you could make it down here on your own

Christine: but im high
and proejct runway is on

Lauren: haha what the hell did you do to yourself while high

Christine: CUT


The story was then related to Kenny, supposed dealer in band-aids:

Kenny: so she needs a band aid
i don't have any

Lauren: haha oh

Kenny: yeah

Lauren: guess she's just gonna die

Kenny: yup


This was then related back to Christine:

Lauren: kenny says he doesnt have any

Christine: after all that?!

Lauren: what the hell were you doing anyway

Christine: pudding

Christine went away 10:07:35 PM
Away Message: fuck you, jello pudding

Lauren 10:10:40 PM
wait....you're telling me you cut yourself on pudding?


To Kenny:

Lauren: apparently she cut herself on pudding
while high

Kenny: on pudding?

Lauren: i guess it must have been the packaging

Kenny: she cut herself so bad she needs a band aid?

Lauren: ha i guess

Kenny: on a package of pudding

Lauren: i dont know

Kenny: yea ok
if i had a band aid
i wouldn't give it to her