Halloween Party at Russell's

Halloween Party Quotes:

....OR we could use FIREWORKS
-Amos, determining the best way to dispose of the rotten pumpkin

Are those......condoms? Cause that would be gross
-Kenny, speculating on the origins of Russell's costume

Rufio is HOT! Let's hump
-Christine, appreciating Charlie's costume

Guess what I had for dinner tonight?
What?
I don't remember, but it filled me up!
-Paul, establishing an excuse to flash me his package stuffed into a thong

MOTHERFUCKERS!!! That's how you know I'm drunk, cause I just yelled fucke.....hellllo police....
-Drunk Charlie leaving Russell's and yelling just as the cops pulled up to report a noise complaint

WHO is Christine making out with??
-Kenny, noticing Christine and the Elvis guy

This Halloween I decided to go as Carmen Sandiego. There were lots of great costumes at the party though, and the cast of characters included:

Kenny, as "The Man in the Big Yellow Hat" ...I know the hat doesn't look yellow, that's cause he only spray painted the top of it

Amos, as "Inspector Gadget"--or gay flasher

Russell, as "something terrifying and resembling condoms"

Alex, as "a dutch girl"

Ed, as....

Emily, as "an 80s chick"

Jayme and Sara, as "The Blues Sisters"

Rich, as "the root of all evil" and Owen, as "the priest who loves evil"

Rachel, as "Britton"

Christine, as "a toddler in a dinosaur costume"

Paul, as "the bear"

Charlie, as "Rufio" and Simon, as "the twink"

Drew, as "floss" (Simon has good oral hygiene)

So when we were carving pumpkins before the party, I discovered that one was slightly rotten on one side. I was a little disappointed, but Amos and Kenny were like, we can smash it!!!!! Later Amos realized that exploding was better than smashing and decided to bring his bag of tricks along to the party. The explosion was a little disappointing, there werent much exploding pumpkin guts, but there were pink sparks all over the dry-leaf-covered lawn....

It's too bad this medium can't reflect the rotten egg-smoke-ass fragrance medley this thing graced the party with

Kenny stroking his monkey

Amos and Russell gettin down

Yeah...

I stole a little bit of everyone

Christine got really drunk....

Pope John Paul the Second and....whatever that's supposed to be

I'm not sure, but that look on my face might be because I'm watching Christine make out with a townie... still in her 5 year old's dinosaur costume, I might add

I know that in the Northeastern United States we like to tell ourselves that we are intelligent, rational, and all-around not ignorant. At least in comparison to the rest of the U.S. However, every once in a while one finds a glaring example of just how wrong an assumption that is.

aMazing

So, seeing as I'm about to graduate with a History/English degree (and would rather not go for a career in "hospitality" or "nourishment services"), I've been trying to think of things to do next year. One idea that has been floating around is the whole teaching English abroad thing. Cool right? You Have No Idea. ellen showed me this website, and it is now the official winner of the time-wasting challenge. No glitzy pictures or flash animation, it's all just little blurbs about this dude's day, but it's AMAZING. Did you know Japanese school girls like to play a game where they try to jam their fingers into people's unsuspecting asses??? And that they will try to grab a person's dick to see if American dicks are actually "bigu"?? It's so great, and i have to tear myself away now to actually get something done. And I'm not happy about it.

Favorite quote thus far, in reference to annoying slutty Japanese school girls (i know, i know, "since when was that a bad thing?" they're not all sailor moon, alright?):
"I look at them and just see a waste of human parts. Yes, it's that bad."

There's a new sherriff in town bitches

He has a serious side

I guess he's been defeated?

Oooh yeah

Workin it 

Rock it cowgirl 

Amos chooses Wal-Mart as the appropriate setting to finally woo Kenny...

He is slightly surprised...

He considers...

and he accepts

Umm.....yeah. What can i say. housemate love

All skin baby, all skin

Awwww yEAh

Some quotes from tonight's house procrastination session...

"if someone gave me treats i'd totally let them paint my butthole"
-Christine's rebuttal to the claim that painting a cat's butthole to determine whether or not they actually put their butthole's on surfaces when they sit would be animal cruelty

"Amos, come pinch my arm fat and tell me if it's fat"
"I dont know, it has a weird matrix in it"
-Christine and Amos, playing the "Fat or Skin" game, which now also has a jingle

FLAPPY SQUID ARM MAN!!!!
that's right.

Russell's B-day

Last night Russell had a birthday party. And it was fun. Here are some highlights:
Christine's gift of 5 liters of Franzia boxed wine, "Sunset Blush" flavor
Christine's gift of the best Hallmark card ever: It had a picture of a sunset and said in large curvy script: "Feel that?" That's pretty funny on its own, but next to it in smaller script, it continued: "That's God's love.... Healing you....Holding you" Except Christine had crossed out "God" and replaced with "Boxed Wine" And when she asked if that was a sin we responded with a resounding "...uh, yeah I think that would definitely count"
"Charleton Hestons" i.e. "white mexicans" the white russian's eeeevil evil cousin. Conclusion, tequila and milk should not be mixed, but especially not combined with margarita mix--"OH GOD i think it's curdling!"
Russell's flawless recitation of the birthday party speech from Fellowship of the Ring, with the slight alterations of 23 for eleventy-one and people for hobbits

We all got pretty emo at the end of the party, probably because we were feeling boxed wine's love. There was a lot of group hugging and standing out in the rain. So here's to another good Saturday night....

Christine came into my room as we were getting ready to go, and was so impressed with how hot the lighting made her that she had to take pictures with her camera phone. And i found the image so funny that I had to take a picture with my camera

The guys were drinking shots out of Skeletor shot glasses

Yeah....

And the girls were drinking the boxed wine. If you look carefully you may be able to make out the words at the top "America's Most Popular Wine" (hahahaha) and i'm sure you can see the 5 liters part

Ok. I call this one, Boxed wine and Brownie

Yeah, we ran out of those ridiculously giant wine glasses. Luckily boxed wine's love can still heal and hold you out of a measuring cup

Aww, adorable guys. Christine hugging Charlie as he shrieks and tries to escape....

Yeah....scary

Grrrrr

I believe this one is "Blue Steel"

David Blaine?