Obama Campaign, I am not your rich aunt....

Ok, wtf Obama campaign. I'm behind you 100%, I want to win, and I understand that takes bank. However, lately, you're kind of making me feel like a mom with a teenager. I'm all for giving you money if you really need it, but when I see you spend millions on a Baracommercial which may or may not help anything (in fact, it could piss people off who could see a number of better ways to be spending 4 million dollars, like, I don't know, myself), and then the next day get the following email, my desire to continue paying out to you is significantly diminished.

Lauren --

I'm the Chief Financial Officer for Barack Obama's campaign. I track the donations coming in and the expenses going out.

I asked for the opportunity to write to you directly so that I could try to explain what's happening right now.

This organization has thousands of employees and spends millions of dollars a day -- and at the moment we're doing it without a safety net.

Our spending plans have been stretched by John McCain's negative attacks and the overwhelming resources of the Republican National Committee.

As of October 15th, John McCain and the RNC together had nearly $20 million more in cash than the combined total of Obama for America and the DNC. And just this week, we're facing new and unexpected spending against us in Montana and West Virginia.

Your incredible generosity has gotten us this far. But right now we need your help more than ever to get this campaign across the finish line.

Please donate $25 or whatever you can afford right now.

Ok...the major problem with this is if they are poorer than McCain and the RNC, that is totally 1,000 percent their fault, since both their campaign and the DNC have outfundraised the shit out of them this season (a result of the million dollar infomercial, perhaps?). Also, what's with the "new and unexpected spending against us in Montana and West Virginia." Why are they even wasting money on these states anyway? If they go blue, that would be some kind of miracle, and also miraculously unnecessary. McCain has to defend them because he's fighting for his life, but how about we just pool our resources and focus on the important stuff, like PA, VA, FL, and OH? If we win all of those, and Montana and WV's combined eight electoral votes go to McCain, I think I can live with that.

Repent (and give us ur credit card info)

I just got an email from Repent Today (repent.today07@yahoo.com.mx) (reply to: eternannlife_injesuschrist5@yahoo.fr) with the subject "Ur Eternity? NO REPENTANCE IN THE GRAVE!! 666-Reject it"-Rev-13-8-18."

Beloved,CHRIST,pleads with men,"U AND I" to accept the gift of eternal

life.(red-Acts-4-12)REPENT!

- Repent Today

I'm still trying to figure out how my repentance would make this person money.

In addition, when did God start using textspeak? What part of Revelation uses "Ur"?

Meteor

When I read that this would be spectacular for witnesses in Sudan, the first thing I thought of was that I hope they don't attack any "witches" over it.

I'm blaming this sad and probably racist thought on Sarah Palin's pastor.

Learning to deal with your beast

We got a press release today saying that, in honor of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Dr. Anthony Youn, a board-certified plastic surgeon, is available to speak on how women with implants can build knowledge and confidence with conducting breast self exams while debunking myths that are associated with women and breast implants.

Not inherently funny on its own (Ok, maybe a little funny).

The really funny part comes at the end:
"Dr. Youn is available for interviews to discuss ways that women can become more comfortable with their beast."