At Long Last

Finally. I've discovered my true calling.

Thank god they gave me this task of looking up all these CEOs' email addresses, or I never would have found out that one lucky man in the world is "VP of Menu Innovation for 'Taco John's International'" Oh, Eric Haviland. Be my mentor! I'll even move to Cheyenne, Wyoming to be with you at your fantastic corporate headquarters.


(oh, and the CEO of Applebees? His email ends in "@crcapplebees.com" Yes, that's right. One letter away from "Crapplebees." Which is what that crappy restaurant is hereby dubbed)

Bearded Wonder

This schoolteacher in Washington has decided that he won't shave until Bin Laden is caught. I guess his plan is to eventually look enough like Bin Laden that the military can just catch him instead and "give closure to all those families"

Weddin!

Jersey Shore beach....the nice part that hasn't been a landfill in almost 20 years


I know, I don't know how they have palm trees in Jersey either



Aw, cute. He protected that hat with his life all throughout the beginning of the day




Posing with our souvenirs


Jesse was the official "MC." Here he is performing one of his many duties of announcing things like toasts and garder belt throwings


Team Turd, as we so aptly dubbed them, sat and watched us the entire day. They took one brief break, and someone even saw them drive away in their car, but they soon returned to continue their vigil. Fat orthodox jewry must be really boring.


We roasted marshmallows on this shit, it was awesome. Also, the guy who built it used an entire bottle of lighter fluid, and then went for more. He was just standing there spraying it on an already huge bonfire... brought me back to high school days when we had a bonfire at Dan's and Sean sprayed lighter fluid onto the already flaming wood and almost killed himself when the fire shot up the stream...





Jesse's bathtub pool, so named for its size, depth, and warmth.


Elvis Glasses!

Maryland Seafood Festival

There was a "Shuttle Bus" from the free parking, by which they meant a yellow school bus, and it had this kit on the front. My cousin assured me this was standard on schoolbuses, but I assured her we definitely did NOT have these when I was growing up. The bus ride would have been a lot more hilarious.


Crabs! That's what Maryland is all about. And I can't eat them.


Look carefully...
do you see it? The hot fudge CRAB sundae?


For those who are realllly thirsty, but want to make sure they don't drink anything good.


I don't know what this was all about.

Happy Hour Downtown Annapolis

He looks so much like Simon and Demers' bastard child!


There's an Annapolis "Big Dog" club that meets at the Harbor on Fridays

This is "Gomez"

TempGuy

Let me first clarify something--while my work may technically be "temporary" I am not a temp. I was not hired through an agency, but by my actual company, I was offered the job permenantly, and chose to do it temporarily, and, finally, most importantly, my work occasionally takes some form of brain power.
That said. The guy who has been sitting in the next desk over is a temp, and I have a few things to say about him.

First. He is like 65. I don't understand how he ended up temping. He has clearly taken a wrong turn somewhere on the road of life.

Second, he totally has the "movie preview guy" voice. Which is great. Cause all he does all day is call people and give the exact same speech. "Hello. This is Kevin Broderick, calling to remind you that the Advance Registration Deadline for Shop.org's Annual Summit is this Friday, September 8th. Please register soon to receive the discounted hotel room rate. We look forward to seeing you in New York City this fall." Yeah, that's verbatim. Because I've heard it 8 *#$@%*$% MILLION times this week. Anyway, try imagining that in the "Coming this summer..." voice. It's amusing the first few hundred times.
Now imagine that voice having this conversation with the freakin, FDA or something yesterday: "Yes, hello, I'm calling about a food product, a can of tuna fish. I found a great big bone in it, an inch to an inch and a half long. I could have been seriously injured had I not noticed it. Is this something I can report? [...] I am in Washington, DC, but the incident occurred in Virginia."
So clearly, although he is doing a job for high school students and despondent, just graduated college students, he has not lost his old man ways.
And finally, he spoke to me for the first time today, and this is what he said: "I notice there are televisions in every office, do you know why this would be?" I answered that since this firm does do government relations, they probably want to be able to watch CNN and CSPAN to hear about what's going on in government. His response? "Oh, I thought it might be in case of a terrorist attack we can all get the news about how to evacuate" Gee THANKS Grimmy McGrim. I needed that boost of reassurance to kick start my day. Continue complaining about your tuna and dramatically announcing our registration deadline.

On second thought, no. Please don't go back to doing that.

Cannibal

So Cannibal the Musical, Trey Parker and Matt Stone's first major work, is going to be playing here in DC. This goes back to the old school...well, my high school days anyway.

Anybody interested in seeing some awesome musical action?

Tragedy Down Under

The Crocodile Hunter died! This is so sad. And, as Walter put it, rather anti-climactic. The world was pulling for "eaten by a crocodile." Or at least poisoned by something incredibly venomous. No, just a freak accident from a relatively harmless sting ray. All the people out there who have been stung by sting rays, danced around being like MOTHER FUCKER for a while, and maybe had some treatment in a hospital, are like, what? Steve Irwin, we expected a much more bad ass animal to take you down. Komodo Dragon perhaps...

So tragic.

Renaissance Faire, Anyone?

Jonah and I stalked some people on facebook, watched some Aqua Teen, and got chicken wings and beer. And discussed the giant Renaissance Faire birthday party he's planning (possibly chartering a bus?) Oh, and Jesse? Contractually OBLIGATED. Keep that in mind.

Anybody interested in getting hammered on mead, devouring some turkey legs, and watching some sweet jousting should get their asses down here on October 7th.

Seriously. A bus.

Breakdancing Artists

We saw this art exhibit where guys breakdanced onto canvases with paint on their hands and feet to make paintings, pretty sweet.


You can't see it, but those tv screens are showing people breakdancing with paint

Zoo

Saw some cool shit at the zoo


Haha...emu

It looks confused and harmless, but it really wants to bite off someone's face

Ok, read this carefully...the snakes came as accidental stowaways on ships or WHAT?

This bird just looks ridiculous. It's called a frogmouth something

Follow your nose!!