It's almost time for our primary in DC—which can be considered our election since we're a one-party oligarchy—and I've just received my voter guide in the mail.
I'll confess, I haven't been paying much attention to the election so far, but I do actually want to participate and make an informed decision, so I decided to read through the candidate statements. Of the five Democratic Party candidates for mayor, three of them have statements that are written relatively reasonably (there are still quite a few errors, but apparently you can't expect people to edit something they are using as their main pitch to voters—hey, it's DC, it's not like we have a high literacy rate).
Two of them, however, are really tragically bad. Coincidentally(?), these are the two candidates who emphasize their upbringing in DC public schools...
Let me just copy them here. (emphasis theirs)
Sulaimon Brown
Vote Sulaimon Brown for Mayor, Democratic Political Strategist—Brown has a financial background, worked on the CAFR (Comprehensive Annual Financial Report) audit of Washington DC. He worked on the political campaigns of President Barack Obama, former Assistant Attorney General Ron Magnus, council member Michael Brown, and Mayor Adrian Fenty. Brown a Ward 5 resident, attended Kelly Miller, Duke Ellington, and graduated from the University of the District of Columbia with a Bachelor of Business Administration degree in Accounting. Platform: Reduce the 12% unemployment rate; 50% dropout rate in our schools; and the highest HIV/ Aids rate in the United States.
Ernest E. Johnson
Ernest E. Johnson is 60 years old 3rd generation Washingtonian that attended DC public schools: Shaw, Banneker, Cardozo and 6 years at the American University majoring in the Administration of Justice.
Mr. Johnson is a published Author and owns Johnson & Johnson Realty. A Community Activist and Discipline of Christ that has worked behind the scenes in every major campaign in the District of Columbia: Walter E. Washington, Marion Barry's Chief strategist in 1978 and Anthony William's election as Mayor. Served as a member of the DC Apprenticeship Council, Columbia Heights Development Corporation, Respected relationship with the U.S. Congress.
I don't even know where to begin. I don't think it's asking too much of our mayoral candidates to expect them to be able to construct a sentence with a subject AND a verb. Adding unnecessary colons and dashes does not in fact negate the need for both of these elements. And I'd like to know what a "Discipline" of Christ is.
This really makes me concerned for my city. I would hope that our community leaders would at least be relatively educated, and even if writing just isn't their strong point, was there really no one in their life who could have read over their statement to voters on why they should be mayor? Anyone who could have told them that they were actually a "60-year-old third-generation Washingtonian"?? No one?
I know Fenty's got his problems, but if these are our alternatives...
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Laser Beam Arc Hybrid
I just got this in a press release from a Japanese company. It is apparently a picture of "laser beam arc hybrid welding" (which, actually now that I think about it, does sound pretty freakin awesome). But when I printed this out, I totally thought it was a picture of a giant robot firing lasers out of his arm at first. And that Japan had finally succeeded in instigating the robot apocalypse. And were considerate enough to draft a press release.
Friday, January 08, 2010
Ridiculous Press Relase of the Day
"Babymoons and Cruise Line Rules for your Pre-Baby Romantic Getaway
Babymoon – a vacation designed for expectant parents – provides a well-timed and much-needed respite from the pre-baby schedule. It’s an opportunity to relax before your lives are changed forever by the arrival of your new bundle of joy."
Ok, I realize that having a baby ends your life forever, but really, travel industry? You're hurting so bad that you had to invent "Babymoon"?
Relax and spend time together now before your horrible life as parents begins and you slowly spiral into spitefulness and resentment. Have sex, for what will probably be one of the last times ever. At least until it's time for bundle of joy #2...
Babymoon – a vacation designed for expectant parents – provides a well-timed and much-needed respite from the pre-baby schedule. It’s an opportunity to relax before your lives are changed forever by the arrival of your new bundle of joy."
Ok, I realize that having a baby ends your life forever, but really, travel industry? You're hurting so bad that you had to invent "Babymoon"?
Relax and spend time together now before your horrible life as parents begins and you slowly spiral into spitefulness and resentment. Have sex, for what will probably be one of the last times ever. At least until it's time for bundle of joy #2...
Friday, September 04, 2009
Irony...
I have a coupon to Mcdonalds. I would like a filet o fish...
but the Mcdonalds is like three blocks away and down a big hill that i would then have to walk back up.
I can't decide which of my fatty tendencies are going to win out in this situation.
but the Mcdonalds is like three blocks away and down a big hill that i would then have to walk back up.
I can't decide which of my fatty tendencies are going to win out in this situation.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Hmm 2 inch fish, definitely worth more than Sean Hannity
Outraged California Farmers Demand Obama Administration’s Help
“All you got to do is turn the pumps on”
Sean Hannity, FOX News
8/11/09
Hannity: Update on a story we covered back in May. The Central Valley of California was once considered the bread basket of America. But now farms all over that region have been allowed to dry up. Now why? Because of a 2-inch minnow on the endangered species list. Now, environmentalists claim that the fish was getting caught in the water pumps that provided the farms with water. So to protect the tiny fish, the pumps turned off. Farmers were left high and dry and entire communities are now feeling the impact. Some towns in the area are facing unemployment rates up to 40 percent. Many residents are now forced to visit food banks. The people of that great area have had enough and they are speaking out tonight. Joining me live from California is Congressman Devin Nunes and comedian and activist Paul Rodriguez. I don’t know if we can get a shot, it looks like you have over a thousand people there is that right?
Rodriguez: Well over a thousand people. This is a testament of your message is getting to these people. They have been out here for hours. The only water this field has seen is our sweat. It's more than we have gotten from the government.
Hannity: Paul, we have had you on about this before. I want you to tell the entire story. It's almost unfathomable.
Rodriguez: People don't believe it.
Hannity: Tell everybody.
Rodriguez: The problem is the environmental laws are not flexible at all. The very judge that pushed this order to cut off the water said that there was no swivel room to make accommodations for human beings. This fish takes priority. All the water is being held back. We are left right with nothing. Right here where we are at, this used to be an almond orchard. We grew some of the sweetest almonds ever, now it's firewood. Do you want some? Nobody believes it. That’s how I got involved, my mother is from here.
Hannity: Farms are dried up. No water, no production. People are losing their jobs. How many people are out of work there?
Rodriguez: Well, you know, the system varies but a lot of people here aren't working. That's why we are here. We are here to show America, this is our own town hall meeting here, Sean. We are so wrap up in this issue we don't have time to worry about health care. Everything around us is dead. Our way of life is dying here. We tried to have the Administration come to see about us. We haven't heard. They send the Secretary of the Interior here. He gave us some nice lip service and said oh we are going to do this and do that. The end we didn't get no water. Our fields are drying out. Something has to be done.
Hannity: First, Paul, you were an Obama supporter?
Rodriguez: Yes, absolutely. Like everybody else, we wanted change. We didn't think it would be this kind of change. But you know, he kept his promise, we got change.
Hannity: Where are you now? I heard you want to call Fresno County an Obama country?
Rodriguez: We want to name -- we would like to name it after someone who is responsible for this. Look, we have sent a letter signed by every mayor in this whole area to President Obama telling them that we’ve tried to go through the chain of command. We saw the Secretary of Interior, we saw his assistant. We went to Sacramento; we went over there to Washington D.C. We went everywhere. Everybody is paying us lip service. At the end of the day our trees can't wait. Our trees are going to wait for a law that may be passing. Two gates, no gates, at the end of the gait gate, nobody is bringing us water.
Hannity: Congressman, how is this possible?
Nunes: It's unbelievable, Sean. We tried on the House floor this summer, about five or six different times and we only got handful of Democrat votes each time. We’ve tried to pass something. Nancy Pelosi is the Speaker of the House, she is from California. We have over 10% unemployment in California. We are sitting with trees that are only 8 years old right now that are now sitting here dead, dried out. There’s a half a million acres of farmland. It's bigger than the size of Rhode Island that's now dry because of these fools.
Rodriguez: The loser here is the American people. Because live in the most fertile valley in this planet. Everything you put on the ground here grows. You are going to eventually by next spring you are going to get your vegetables from china. I understand they make great baby milk formula.
Nunes: Sean, let me add something on this. This is, you know, in China and India, and Brazil, they're building water infrastructure projects . In California, not only are we not building projects here, we are taking the projects we have and they are shut off and they are starving this valley of water.
Rodriguez: We would like to have the same consideration that they have for the plants they're building in Iraq. For crying out loud they are getting water projects. Here in this valley, look we have no other recourse. We want to thank you a lot, Sean. Nobody else has pointed their eye on this problem. To us there is a lot -- we understand that the President has serious problems with health care and all these things. To us this is our livelihood.
Nunes: All you got to do is turn the pumps on. [cheers]
Hannity: I don't know if anybody can hear me out there, you guys. I want to say this to the crowd. The people in this area need jobs. They need their farms. They need the water for their farms. And the federal government, where is Barack Obama, where is Nancy Pelosi, where is Harry Reid? Turn the water on and let the people of Central California eat. I can't believe I’m eating debating this, Paul.
Rodriguez: It's ridiculous. I have not lost faith yet. Maybe I’m a knuckle head. We have sent the letter. We're still hoping that Mr. Obama will see it in his busy schedule to come down here and visit us. We believe that – seeing is believing. If he sees the faces on these people. We are not just white or brown. We are everybody here. This is a microcosm of America here. We are farmers. We bring food to your table.
Hannity: Are you going to run for office?
Rodriguez: Who me? The only thing I’m going to run is from the cops. No, this area needs someone with an education. I'm not smart enough to be that. I just want water to my mom's farm and I’m back to telling jokes.
Nunes: I'm working on him. I'm trying to get him to run.
Rodriguez: You should run, Sean. You are the man.
Hannity: Listen. I mean this sincerely. I think this is really important. I hope the President is watching or somebody will bring this to his attention and somebody has got to turn the water back on. We have got to save these farmers. We have got to save these farms. We have got to do it for the people out there.
Rodriguez: Either that or put us on the endangered species list. [cheers]
“All you got to do is turn the pumps on”
Sean Hannity, FOX News
8/11/09
Hannity: Update on a story we covered back in May. The Central Valley of California was once considered the bread basket of America. But now farms all over that region have been allowed to dry up. Now why? Because of a 2-inch minnow on the endangered species list. Now, environmentalists claim that the fish was getting caught in the water pumps that provided the farms with water. So to protect the tiny fish, the pumps turned off. Farmers were left high and dry and entire communities are now feeling the impact. Some towns in the area are facing unemployment rates up to 40 percent. Many residents are now forced to visit food banks. The people of that great area have had enough and they are speaking out tonight. Joining me live from California is Congressman Devin Nunes and comedian and activist Paul Rodriguez. I don’t know if we can get a shot, it looks like you have over a thousand people there is that right?
Rodriguez: Well over a thousand people. This is a testament of your message is getting to these people. They have been out here for hours. The only water this field has seen is our sweat. It's more than we have gotten from the government.
Hannity: Paul, we have had you on about this before. I want you to tell the entire story. It's almost unfathomable.
Rodriguez: People don't believe it.
Hannity: Tell everybody.
Rodriguez: The problem is the environmental laws are not flexible at all. The very judge that pushed this order to cut off the water said that there was no swivel room to make accommodations for human beings. This fish takes priority. All the water is being held back. We are left right with nothing. Right here where we are at, this used to be an almond orchard. We grew some of the sweetest almonds ever, now it's firewood. Do you want some? Nobody believes it. That’s how I got involved, my mother is from here.
Hannity: Farms are dried up. No water, no production. People are losing their jobs. How many people are out of work there?
Rodriguez: Well, you know, the system varies but a lot of people here aren't working. That's why we are here. We are here to show America, this is our own town hall meeting here, Sean. We are so wrap up in this issue we don't have time to worry about health care. Everything around us is dead. Our way of life is dying here. We tried to have the Administration come to see about us. We haven't heard. They send the Secretary of the Interior here. He gave us some nice lip service and said oh we are going to do this and do that. The end we didn't get no water. Our fields are drying out. Something has to be done.
Hannity: First, Paul, you were an Obama supporter?
Rodriguez: Yes, absolutely. Like everybody else, we wanted change. We didn't think it would be this kind of change. But you know, he kept his promise, we got change.
Hannity: Where are you now? I heard you want to call Fresno County an Obama country?
Rodriguez: We want to name -- we would like to name it after someone who is responsible for this. Look, we have sent a letter signed by every mayor in this whole area to President Obama telling them that we’ve tried to go through the chain of command. We saw the Secretary of Interior, we saw his assistant. We went to Sacramento; we went over there to Washington D.C. We went everywhere. Everybody is paying us lip service. At the end of the day our trees can't wait. Our trees are going to wait for a law that may be passing. Two gates, no gates, at the end of the gait gate, nobody is bringing us water.
Hannity: Congressman, how is this possible?
Nunes: It's unbelievable, Sean. We tried on the House floor this summer, about five or six different times and we only got handful of Democrat votes each time. We’ve tried to pass something. Nancy Pelosi is the Speaker of the House, she is from California. We have over 10% unemployment in California. We are sitting with trees that are only 8 years old right now that are now sitting here dead, dried out. There’s a half a million acres of farmland. It's bigger than the size of Rhode Island that's now dry because of these fools.
Rodriguez: The loser here is the American people. Because live in the most fertile valley in this planet. Everything you put on the ground here grows. You are going to eventually by next spring you are going to get your vegetables from china. I understand they make great baby milk formula.
Nunes: Sean, let me add something on this. This is, you know, in China and India, and Brazil, they're building water infrastructure projects . In California, not only are we not building projects here, we are taking the projects we have and they are shut off and they are starving this valley of water.
Rodriguez: We would like to have the same consideration that they have for the plants they're building in Iraq. For crying out loud they are getting water projects. Here in this valley, look we have no other recourse. We want to thank you a lot, Sean. Nobody else has pointed their eye on this problem. To us there is a lot -- we understand that the President has serious problems with health care and all these things. To us this is our livelihood.
Nunes: All you got to do is turn the pumps on. [cheers]
Hannity: I don't know if anybody can hear me out there, you guys. I want to say this to the crowd. The people in this area need jobs. They need their farms. They need the water for their farms. And the federal government, where is Barack Obama, where is Nancy Pelosi, where is Harry Reid? Turn the water on and let the people of Central California eat. I can't believe I’m eating debating this, Paul.
Rodriguez: It's ridiculous. I have not lost faith yet. Maybe I’m a knuckle head. We have sent the letter. We're still hoping that Mr. Obama will see it in his busy schedule to come down here and visit us. We believe that – seeing is believing. If he sees the faces on these people. We are not just white or brown. We are everybody here. This is a microcosm of America here. We are farmers. We bring food to your table.
Hannity: Are you going to run for office?
Rodriguez: Who me? The only thing I’m going to run is from the cops. No, this area needs someone with an education. I'm not smart enough to be that. I just want water to my mom's farm and I’m back to telling jokes.
Nunes: I'm working on him. I'm trying to get him to run.
Rodriguez: You should run, Sean. You are the man.
Hannity: Listen. I mean this sincerely. I think this is really important. I hope the President is watching or somebody will bring this to his attention and somebody has got to turn the water back on. We have got to save these farmers. We have got to save these farms. We have got to do it for the people out there.
Rodriguez: Either that or put us on the endangered species list. [cheers]
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Safe Driving
I got a new copy of my car insurance policy today, and it says "There are no male or unmarried female drivers under age 25 assigned to this car."
Ok, so I'm aware of the car insurance industry's unfair policy toward young men (despite being backed up by statistics, still unfair). But what's with this "unmarried" thing? Have I been being charged more all this time for not having a ring on my finger? And that would make me a safer driver how, exactly?
Ok, so I'm aware of the car insurance industry's unfair policy toward young men (despite being backed up by statistics, still unfair). But what's with this "unmarried" thing? Have I been being charged more all this time for not having a ring on my finger? And that would make me a safer driver how, exactly?
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