Graduation Weekend

Well my sister graduated, and it was a cold, rainy, miserable day for all. Thank god grandma didn't come or she might no longer be with us. I saw many a grandparent looking like they were about to shed this mortal coil due to the freezingly damp conditions we were all being exposed to. The graduates had it worst with their mortarboards wilting and their icy hands struggling to grasp their diplomas. And there were a lot of photo ops parents are going to regret forever. Ellen's boyfriend apparently walked home spewing obscenities at their president, who royally slammed down her mighty scepter and decreed that it shall be outside despite the obvious issues.

The Skidmore graduation was this Saturday too, which luckily I did not have to sit through—one rainy, cold Skidmore graduation was plenty for me, thank you—but it meant that there were a bunch of people up.

I met with the Paul, Jesse, Molly, Simon, Rich crew well into their evening of mayhem, so there was no easing into their ridiculousness. It was in full swing when I arrived at the end of their dinner at Hattie's, just as Simon decided that Paul needed to eat one of the pickled peppers out of a condiment jar that was clearly meant to be used sparingly as a kind of sauce. He had to pop the whole top off to even get the thing out, and the smell was almost unbearable, so we knew the taste had to be awesome. Wincing, Paul said at first that it wasn't even hot, just gross, but then it kicked in and he had to pick up the water carafe to cool off his steaming forehead.

It pretty much went from there, as usual. It was decided that the DA's challenge would be a sexual act performed in the guy's bathroom under...unusual conditions (let's just say it involved "fakie"). Simon decreed that it would be an all whiskey drinks night. He and I started with mint juleps which we were later instructed to chug... I don't think that's even possible. Jesse later tried to convince a girl Paul was gay, but that was all for nihl when Paul decided to kiss said girl in front of everyone.

We didn't really hang out with any actual new graduates (and no one attempted the DA's challenge, thankfully). Downtown's not really the same any more though. There's no Pickle Barrel, for one. And I didn't go to Gaffney's, but it was apparently "ridiculous" over there.

I heard that the night before, someone had thrown a doughboy at Paul and he'd almost fought him. Wish I'd been there to see that. And on Sunday we tried on hats at the Army Navy store, tried to get Molly a shirt that said "I Tame Lions" (apparently she's going to Namibia to work on a lion farm? no joke), and swung on the Ben and Jerry's swing for like an hour and probably ruined a few families' Sunday outings. Oh, and Paul came dangerously close to accidentally exposing himself to one of Lilli's housemates and Simon almost made Rich lose an eye.

I think that pretty much puts you up to speed. Good times.

I'll add pictures if Simon ever sends me any, and hopefully one day I'll get a new camera.