Party Like it's 1999

So yeah. The middle school dance party was sooooo middle school. We all agreed that we'd forgotten how much we hated middle school. Still, it was fun as hell. We arrived as "Come on Ride the Train (Ride it)" was playing. And were promptly informed that, had we arrived a minute earlier, we would have seen an actual train going around the dance floor. A train that would've consisted of the 10 or so people there. Oh yeah. There were crepe paper decorations (which I later licked when Charlie dared me to cause it supposedly tastes like ass. Verdict: definite ASS), there were chips, cookies, and root beer and grape soda. But that wasn't even what made it so middle school. It wasn't even the Coolio and Ace of Base. No. In fact, it was the couple who spent the entire night morosely holding on to each other, the boy slouching to an extent that I would not have believed possible as he clung to his girlfriend's waist and scanned around like a frightened doe doing her darnedest to protect her fawn from marauding wolves--I can only assume he was worried someone would try to snatch his female prize, rare indeed at a tech school, it is true. So Charlie, Amos, and I, feeling pretty secure in our places in at least the top five coolest people there (my sister and Zane can maybe be included) decided to go all out and get down. Once we were dancing the lameness factor was significantly diminished, and we had a pretty kickass time. Particularly when "I Saw the Sign" came on, and Amos and I grabbed the mic and karaoked the shit out of it. Gus and Kevin stayed in perfect middle school character by showing up super late (even later than the three of us), sitting on the couch completely refusing to dance or have any form of fun, probably making fun of all of us the whole time (which would not have been hard), and then proceeding to leave way early. Sweet guys. Oh yeah, I went with a rainbow brite t-shirt (actually a patty o'green shirt if we wanna be precise here) tight jeans which i later traded in for one of my sister's pleated plaid miniskirts (one, it was hot, two, it was hot) and some kick ass boots. All the Rpi kids (except my sister, who is tireless in her love of the fact that middle school dance music is really funny) got tired or bored or something like an hour and a half after we arrived and started draping themselves over the couches.* We represented Skidmore and its superior ability to have a good time for a while,* but then even we were lamed out. The last slow dance came around, my sister and Zane ran up there and made a hilarious picture as the only ones dancing, until our infamous couple joined them. Then I decided it was time to take things to the next level, so I grabbed the damn mic and sang along with Mariah Carey for a while. Well, to her choruses anyway; I can't be expected to know the lyrics to the verses of that shit. For that, it was determined that I won the spirit award. It did take some spirit to stand up there in front of utter apathy juxtaposed with my friends laughing and taking pictures.... But I am fearless in the face of having fun. As I would later demonstrate at Julia and Jill's party. So the "fuck everyone" party. I must say not only did I not fuck everyone, but I didn't fuck anyone. False advertising? You be the judge. As you may recall, my invitation read: "Fuck Everyone" Party Message: hey you could go to that sad emo party---or come to our party, wear some fancy underpants, and play silly games like spin the bottle and suck and blow. your choice. As I've said, there was no fucking. But not only was there no fucking, but there was not even any spin the bottle or suck and blow. There were "underpants" I guess.....but only by loose definition. As in girls were wearing slips over jeans and bras. And didn't want to take these slips off even after losing a round of strip spoons. Tsk Tsk. My fearlessness combined with my sucking at spoons ended in me being seriously cold whenever someone would go out to have a cigarette and leave the damn door open for like three minutes...* When I accepted I'd lost all I could afford to lose, Charlie and I accepted that we were hungry as hell and ordered pizza. And we ate it. And it was good.

*All this occurred in my sister's dorm basement that has a stage, a bar, and several couches. The presence of the couches is probably the best explanation why this was once the home of a homeless guy. I found this out because I told Ellen how Amos' friend Kerry's biggest fear is being killed by a homeless person squatting in her basement, and how we thought that was kinda a weird irrational fear until Meg pointed out that there were homeless people living in the basement of Moore last year, thus traumatizing Kerry forever, and Ellen responded: "There was a homeless guy living in our basement last year! My roommate dated him. And he used to play drums for my friend's band" And yes. I was as taken aback by this as you surely are. There's not really too much back story, however. The guy was 23, had actually gone to college, and just hit some dire straits apparently. He apparently now lives in Colonie... good for him gettin back on his feet. Wanna know his major? Music. Guess no one was exactly surprised...

* Charlie also represented Skidmore via a well-hung piece of stealth artwork ; )

*Sorry, no pictures of this. That I'm aware of....