buy me a tattoo

So as I was writing an email to my best friend who's abroad (you know who you are), I realized that since more than 75% of my free time had been previously devoted to people who are currently thousands of miles away, I was now reduced to spending much of this time online trying to find new means of filling said time. Writing emails that these friends wouldn't really have time to read or respond to--as they are currently basking in the glory of all that is a new and exciting nation--was one option....creating a blog so the whole world can theoretically hear me whine? Well, that was another. As you can see, I chose the nobler option. So here's the email that had been destined for only one person, but is now presented to all of you on an electronic platter:
So tonight we decided to go to the "late night programming" at the spa, cause they had chocolate covered pretzels and "fruit" --i assumed this would include strawberries, the typical fruit one covers in chocolate (right?), but it actually was just pineapple (not even chocolate could make this good) and marachino cherries (which, being soaked in heavy syrup, didn't really hold the chocolate very well). Unfortunately, Sex in (and?) the City was also playing on that giant screen they bust out for movies in the spa. I had never watched this show, so I didnt really think anything of it, but just judging by the ten to fifteen minutes i was standing in the vicinity of the giant screen and speakers, it sucks. seriously. so annoying. so we took our spoils from the free food table upstairs where the annoyance was considerably diminished, and we talked about random bullshit for a while--i.e. the fact that Amos' phone has three way calling, tested it out to see if our phones did, etc. But then, Amos mentions this website Charlie showed him, entitled savetoby.com (note: GO HERE) I'll try to avoid spoiling it for you as much as possible, but suffice to say it sparked a desire to form an internet moneymaking scheme.
What was this scheme, you ask? Well, its not simple, but it comes down to buymytattoo.com. This will be the next great time-waster on college campuses across the nation. What will be so special about it? Glad you asked.
If you go to this website, once it exists, and donate via Paypal, you will be contributing to a pool that, if it grows large enough, will buy Gus and Kevin a tattoo. Why would you want to do such a thing?
This is not going to be your ordinary tattoo. No. Not only will Gus and Kevin get any tattoo that the site's visitors submit (provided it wins the most votes), but they will also get it on the part of their body that these visitors vote on. There will be some restrictions, but these should be minimal.
All told, after merchandising, they stand to make a shitload. For doing absolutely nothing. Thank you Toby. Thank you for encouraging my boyfriend and housemate to trade their integrity and self-respect for a price, be it a high one. And thank you Amos for initiating and continually aiding this Faustian bargain. I'm sure the weather in hell is at least nicer than upstate New York in February....