Cowboys and Oreos

My dad came today and visited, that was good. He showed me his sweet new cowboy boots that he's been pining for since 1985 and finally convinced my stepmom to buy for him cause it was his 60th birthday. I guess he figures he doesn't have that much time left to be awesome, so he'd better get on that. Kevin also happened to be watching a western, so Dad and I watched about half an hour of "The Magnificent Seven" with him. I'm not really sure what was magnificent about them, but they looked pretty hot in their cowboy boots and tight jeans, so maybe that's what my dad's going for. But despite how cool his footwear may be, he's still hopelessly an English professor. He told me about how he's making students who come in late stay after for punishment. And yes, the pun is intentionally emphasized. Because the punishment is a horrible joke. Here's the one he gave as an example (don't ask why I deserve to be punished, he didn't make this clear):
The Boston Philharmonic is performing Beethoven's 9th symphony, and have been for the past few weeks. Now, in case you're not familiar with the ins and outs of this piece, there is a twenty-minute portion in which the bass violins don't play. This had been alright at first, but now that they've been playing it for so many nights, the musicians are starting to get bored and annoyed with this break. So the first bass violinist says to the others, "This is ridiculous, we should really just sneak out the back during this part tomorrow night and go get a few beers." So the next night, they quietly slip out backstage and head to the bar across the street. They pound down quite a few shots, and are getting pretty hammered, when the second bass violinist realizes that it’s already been 15 minutes, so he says to the others they've really got to get back. The first violinist shakes his head and reassures them, "it's fine, we don't have to rush. I tied together the pages of the conductor’s music for this part, so that should buy us some time." They sneak back in, quietly as they can, though they're pretty drunk at this point, and pick up their instruments. Around this moment, a woman in the audience turns to her husband and comments: "The conductor looks pretty flustered, what do you think is wrong?" And he turns to her and whispers, "Well how would you feel, it's the bottom of the 9th, the basses are loaded, and the score's tied"
Ha, aren't you glad you just read all that? Be consoled by the fact that it probably took you way less time to read it than it took my dad to tell it.
In other news, I was sitting in my room today before my dad came, and I heard Kev come in. He seemed to be making more noise than usual, but I didn't think too much of it. So as he's walking past my room, he tells me he had to drive down to Clifton Park to do something, I'm not sure what cause I wasn't reaally listening, but apparently he stopped by Parkway music. And I didn't like the way he said that. I soon found out why. When he lugged the two boxes containing his new drum set upstairs. So yeah. There's now a drum set 6 feet from my bedroom door. And that's all I have to say about that.
Later we went to Wal-Mart and bought some milk, cereal, mustard, double stuf oreos, and Bisquick. Three pounds of Bisquick, cause that seemed more "cost-effective." Why do I mention this? Only because I came downstairs around midnight and found Kevin pouring vegetable oil into the "Frydaddy" that Chris gave us (thanks for that by the way, I'll be sending you the bill for my triple bypass) and attempting to lift the giant box of Bisquick to poof out some clumps into the bowl of milk he'd prepared. Not getting it yet? He then grabbed a handful of oreos, and threw them into the powdery milky mess. We instructed him to add more Bisquick so it'd stick better to the cookies, which he did with a flourish, alluding to its abundance. He then dropped one of the gooey masses into the oil. Getting it now? When it was all over, we had six deep fried oreos--well six actual pieces, if you wanna go by recommended serving size, we had about 24. One was definitely about 4 times the size of a typical oreo, so I guess that was all just fried matter? Kev hadn't sweetened the Bisquick at all, so it was just like eating a biscuit with a gooey oreo in the middle--not bad exactly, but just kinda confusing. And when I say not bad, I’m speaking on a purely taste-based scale. In terms of artery-clogging, stomachache-causing, and just plain evil, they were off the charts.

Side Note: February 12th is my sister's "Middle School Dance Party." This is a party that is modeled after a dance we may have attended when we were in Middle School. Complete with Ace of Base and Coolio. And today she told me her new plan for advertising it: random mailbox valentines with the info. Sounds like a pretty normal idea right? However, here are just a few of the valentine sayings she and her R.P.I friends came up with:
"If we collided on the hash table, I'd use linear probing"
"U(x) * Me(y) is not a seperable equation"
"flash me"
"i want your cooties"
"R U a differential equation b/c I want to be tangent to your curves"
"my friend really likes you!!"
"you must be the x+ direction b/c when i'm around you my natural log increases"
"i saw your mom & she's really hot!! I guess you're the next best thing...be mine?"
"you give me a hard disk"

Half of these are lame because we might have used them in 6th grade, and the other half are lame because they make reference to something from Comp Sci or Calculus. So they're all AWESOME.