Who Needs Disease Cures Anyway?

It is all clear now. I understand why we still have AIDS and cancer in the world. ....The scientists have all been busy.

First, it was the study showing that people with fat friends turn out fat. I'm not saying it's not useful to know, but who's funding this study again?

And apparently the New England Journal of Medicine was on a roll, because they also published a story about the kitty grim reaper.

Supposedly, college students that have fake IDs drink more. No WAY!

Last, but certainly not least, you will soon be able to sign up to get phone calls from your plant, letting you know, in a quirky accent, that it is "thirsty."